June 11, 2007

Bug of the Month Club

I know that I sort of live in an area that could be described as "the tropics" or something like that, but I am still surprised by two things I constantly encounter here: mold and bugs. I guess I might have had both in Colorado, but to a lesser extent (especially with the mold).
(ASIDE: One thing almost more annoying than both mold and bugs is the douchebag behind me in this internet cafe that insists on singing along with every bullshit 80s schmaltz ballad--and not the good type of schmaltz ballad, but the Whitney Houston type of shit--in his lilting voice. Then, when he doesn't know the words, he taps his feet out of tune or whistles...loudly. "The Greatest Love," my ass! ASIDE OVER)
The mold: I am surprised at how well mold grows. I understand that in some places, it's pretty likely to grow (like in the soggy cardboard box that was left after they delivered my oven, which I was "storing" in the little yard behind my apartment). But other places are just a bit much, if you ask me.
I literally had to throw away an (admittedly old) laptop case because the damn thing kept growing mold! It just didn't seem like luggage, especially luggage that had never been wet, and which had been stored properly in a well-aired area, should be able to grow mold, but it continually did. The same happened with a suitcase and a messenger bag, but at least with those two, it seemed to cease with a good washing.
The bugs: Again, I live in Central America, so I shouldn't be surprised at the bugs, but more than anything it's the variety that's interesting. And living in a city, I'm sure I'm only getting the smallest fraction of the scary shit that's out there.
I don't really mind bugs, but there are a few that are really annoying. Mosquitoes, of course, blow (or suck, I guess), especially when they wake you up three or four times in a night. I also hate centipedes because, for a split second at least, I think they're some sort of evil "micro-snakes" or something. They usually get the sandal swat treatment.
The strangest thing, though, seems to be how the bugs come in waves. If you recall from the time I was house-sitting for the Canadians, there were a lot of beetles getting into the house. Then, one night, hundreds of flying ant-type of bugs started coming into the house! I closed the doors, but they were seeping in through the cracks. You could hit or swat them, but then their four wings would just fall off and you'd be stuck with a crawling grub thing. I talked to the son of the house later that night, and he said, "Oh yeah, there's one day every year when they come around, and that's all you ever see of them. Just one day."
Weird.
And there are waves and waves of new, different bugs. My laundry patio is serving as a sort of makeshift lab for them. First, I had the wave of the beetles. Then the small ants which are nearly invisible. Then the larger ants. Then the mosquitoes. Then the big ants. Then the centipedes. Then the caterpillars that sting like a bitch. Now, every time that there are no bugs, I get worried. It's like in Star Wars, when all the cannons on the Death Star go quiet, and everyone starts getting afraid of what's to come. That's right, dammit, it's some TIE fighters, and Darth Vader's in the lead!!

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