September 23, 2009

Eliminate Prejudice: Be Color Blind!

(Click play on video to get in the right mood for this post):

OK.

We all know that the primary colors—so called due to the fact that you learn about them in primary school—are red, yellow, and blue. According to Timnath Elementary School lore, all other colors are made by mixing certain proportions of those three colors. Fair enough.

So why is green such hot shit, then? Did you ever think about it? When we think of colors, sure, we think of the primaries, but next we think of green, but not orange or purple. Why the bias? Here’s the sad truth, folks: green is just yellow mixed with blue, while orange is yellow and red, and purple is simply a splash of red mixed with a dash of blue.

Together we can stop this. Instead of greenery, ask your landscape designer for some purplery! Don’t be green with envy; instead, be orange with anger! Why ask your electric company to use green energy when they could be using mauve energy! And finally, stop eating collared greens and start eating collared ochres!

We’re coming for you, green.

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2 comments:

Paul said...

Which brings me to my next point, kids. Don't do drugs. *nods*

Sitzman said...

What are you suggesting, little brother?