December 15, 2006

Back in the U.S.S.A.

So, I'm back in the US for a month or so to visit family and friends and enjoy the weather before I head back to the barren tundra of Costa Rica.
The trip here and everything was OK, save for a layover in Dallas, complete with a shitty and slow immigration process (but is there really another kind?). Dallas airport also gave me a few more reasons to dislike Texas, as if anyone really needed more. First of all, the pilot didn't blast the theme song from the 80s show "Dallas" when we were flying over the city, which would have helped its cause immensely. Secondly, the airport has a convoluted tram system. And finally, on said tram system, you have to hear innumerable disturbing conversations in Texas accents. I actually heard a lady say (and this is an exact quote): "After being pregnant for years and years on end, the only way that's coming off is with a scalpel and thousands of dollars." They stepped off the tram right after that, so one can only really speculate at what they were discussing, but let's just assume the worst.
Anyhow, so summarize, Texas can ram it, Colorado is still OK, and you should call me if you want to hang out while I'm here.

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3 comments:

marlena said...

Hi Ryan! I can definitely sympathize with your disdain for Dallas. I was once stuck in their airport for 9 hours. And the city every bit as stereotypical as you describe. EVERYTHING is too big and lacking substance. Plus, they named a highway after Bush. Texans may brag that their airport is bigger than the island of Manhattan, but I'll take Manhattan over DFW anytime.

Bb said...

I agree that TX can shove it. They are always so proud that their state reserved the right to leave the Union anytime they want. I say good riddance - and encourage them to be their own country or better yet, be a part of Mexico again!

Sitzman said...

Well said, man!
Whenever people from Texas talk about that right to leave the Union, it makes me think that that's the ideal situation to use the phrase "Is that a threat or a promise?"
At the same time, please don't demean Mexico like that. It's a nice, charming country with great people, nice beaches, and kick ass food; what have they done to deserve Texas? Also, Jose lives there, and Jose is awesome.