May 4, 2008

Playing Devil's Advocate For The Banana Hammock

In my last posting, I mentioned that I would probably have to justify my Eurotrash "brief"-style swimsuit. This is my attempt at that justification.
It all started a month or two ago, when Angela and I went to the beach at Esterillos. We came back from the beach to the hotel, and I hung my swimming trunks on the second-floor balcony to dry in the sun. When I came back out a few hours later, they were gone. At first, I assumed they'd fallen downstairs, so I checked all over and even asked the hotel management. No dice. I still have no idea into which parallel universe (or Hyundai Elantra trunk) my old swimming trunks disappeared into, but they are gone. So, for the remainder of that trip, I just swam in some soccer shorts, and made a mental note to look for a new swimsuit when I got back to San Ramon.
Flash-forward a few months into the future. The future is now. I'm looking for a pair of boxer brief underwear, and I see a pair being modeled on a mannequin in a store window. I walk in and ask about them, and the lady in the store informs me that they're not actually underwear, but rather a swimming suit. "Curious," I say, and mention to Angela that in Germany most guys seemed to wear similar nut-crushers to the beaches. In any case, Angela also starts looking for a swimming suit, and to bide my time, I look at the guys' suits. The store lady says I can try them on "without commitment," so I think, "Ah, what the hell; why not? 82,000,000 Germans can't ALL be wrong."
As it turns out, 82,000,000 Germans certainly CAN be wrong, but that's another story altogether; when it comes to swimsuits, though, they were actually right! Sure, the suits leave very little to the imagination, but these little numbers are totally comfortable and are also easy to pack (...to pack in your suitcase, that is). The only drawback is that you probably have to wear "a cover-up" if you go into a restaurant or some classy place on the beach like Hooters, but that's no big deal.
So, I did it. I bought two of them. Sue me.

I mean, it's not THAT bad, is it?? (Answer: Yes, it is, but I don't care because I'm the one wearing it, and therefore impervious and oblivious to such considerations...that's another advantage of this garment)


"Don't Fear The Creeper": The good thing about this type of swimming suit is that you can swap with your wife if she forgets the bottom part of her bikini!


"Speedo-Style Swimwear: It's Not Just For Germans and Perverts Anymore!" (Note: Germans and perverts still do use them, though, so be alert at all times!)

"Three Cheers For The Stuttgart Sausage Sling! Hurra! Hurra! Hurra!"


VIVA LA HAMACA DE BANANA!!


365: Picture a Day Project    365 Leftovers    All My Pictures    Sitzbook

6 comments:

Los Straitjackets said...

!Que microscopico bikini!

Sitzman said...

Aweeebo.

Bonner Photographic said...

Something is very very wrong with you Ryan. You have been away too long.

Yeison said...

I can't believe the pictures! yo con tu trasero.... no pondria esas fotos simplemente porque provoca......lastima!!! ji ji

Anonymous said...

Don`t pay attention to Yeison, he must be jealous! you look so sexy in your Hamaca de banana

Sitzman said...

Gracias!